Cole's New Wheels

Today Cole took his first real ride on his new scooter. He had been riding it back and forth in the living room since Christmas, and today he was so excited to scoot on down to the park. He was a bit wobbly and tired out before reaching the park, but I bet in no time he is going to be cruising around easily. Grant was very impressed and cheered Cole on from the stroller.

How to Make a Fire

Today Cole was teaching me how to make a fire. Here are his steps...

First you get the logs and chop them

Then you spit on your hands and rub them together

Next you twirl a really long stick onto a piece of wood until you get an ember

Then you make a nest, put the ember inside and blow on it until it catches on fire

Then you put it on the logs and you've got a fire
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Grandpa is definitely rubbing off on Cole- I better watch out if all he needs to make a fire is two sticks. The spitting on your hands step cracks me up. Cole rattles all the steps off like they are common knowlege-isn't this how everyone starts a fire?

A Very Merry Birthday

Christmas Eve is going to be a hard birthday when Grant gets older (just ask my brother Mitch who also shares the day), but this year it was pretty low key. We had a little party for Grant at my parents house in the afternoon. Grant wasn't too sure about opening presents-he didn't like the sound of the paper ripping, but Cole was more than willing to lend a hand. He got some really cute clothes and toys, and my mom got him a laugh and learn kitchen that Cole and Grant are going to have fun playing with together. Cole made a special cake for Grant to destroy, and destroy it he did. Grant attacked the cake and covered himself in cake and frosting-he was a messy, happy boy. I kept Grant up past naptime so he was a bit grumpy, but I think his first taste of cake made it up to him.
-----Grant's One Year Stats-----
Weight: 22lb 6oz
Length: 29.5inches
45% for length and height
Grant's favorite things are attacking and playing with his brother, chasing balls, and exploring outside.

Weve Come a Long Way, Baby

I can't believe that I am at a loss for words right now- for so long I have looked forward to Grant's first birthday, and tomorrow is the big day. I have been staring at my computer screen for the past twenty minutes not even knowing where to begin. I guess I am having a hard time celebrating tomorrow, or at least celebrating the circumstances that led to tomorrow. Honestly it took me a while to kind of come to terms and accept Grant's premature birth; it was probably only in the past few months that it started to feel ok-probably because he is doing so well; I can't even imagine how hard it would be if our outcome wasn't as great. Tomorrow kind of feels like the anniversary of the day my baby was robbed of his final eleven weeks to bounce around carefree in my stomach and instead was subjected to a world of loud noises and painful touches. So many different emotions surrounded his birth; it wasn't a carefree happy time, and I feel selfish to say that I also felt robbed of my pregnancy. It tooke a really long time before I didn't feel a pain in my heart everytime I say a huge pregnant woman or beautiful newborn baby. I felt like a failure as a mother and as a woman. I couln't give to my child what they were to theirs-a full term pregnancy and healthy start at life. Even though I couldn't have done anything differently, I think I will always feel some guilt over what happened. So even though tomorrow doesn't really feel like my child is turning one (I am holding out for March for that one), tomorrow I am going to celebrate how far we have come. I am so proud of where Grant is today; he is such a strong, amazing boy and a pure joy in our lives. As years pass, I know it will really feel like December 24th is his birthday-its just a little hard this year. I have spent a lot of time today looking at pics from the last year, and it brings back so many memories. It is just doesn't seem real that this little chunk I'm holding today is the same tiny baby in the isolette. He's getting huge and I'm loving it! Here's some pics of the day he was born-what a difference a year makes!!

The Happiest Place on Earth!!

We were so excited to take Cole to Disneyland for an early Christmas present, and we had such a great time. We only went to the park for a day, but it was enough for Cole's first trip. Grant spent a few days at Grandma's house, and he was a very good boy. Cole was so excited to finally see Disneyland; he thought the drive to Anaheim would never end. I think we heard a million "are we there yets", and he cracked us up when he asked if a trailer park with some flags and hot air balloons was Disneyland. To say the least he was amazed when he finally saw the real Disneyland, and it looked beautiful all decorated for Christmas. It really did feel magical walking down the main street with Christmas music playing overhead; you really can't help but be happy at Disneyland. Cole was so excited to meet Mickey Mouse and all of his favorite Disney characters, and he loved the rides as well. Cole's favorite rides were the jungle boat tour (no suprise) and the rollercoaster in toon town.  I think we went on the toon town  rollercoaster three times, and he probably would have ridden it all day if we let him. We were suprised that Cole went on every ride except Space Mountain and Indiana Jones; he was very proud of himself. It was a really great age for Cole to go to Disneyland; he was little enough to still believe in the "magic", but also big enough to enjoy the rides. After our trip Cole saw Mickey Mouse on tv and he said "Hey Mickey, I met you last week!" So sweet and innocent, I wish I could freeze Cole at this age for awhile and keep him my sweet little boy for a bit longer.

Such an exhausted boy!

One Year Ago

Today was kind of a wierd day for me because it was one year ago that I was admitted to the hospital with pregnancy complications. I know I am going to spend a lot of time remissing about everything that has occured over the past year and it is going to elicit some bittersweet emotions. It is so wierd to me that it has already been a year- I remember it like it was yesterday. I was so scared and in total shock. I had admitted countless patients to the antepartum unit, and it felt surreal being there myself. Honestly, the first couple of days I spent a lot of time crying. I missed Cole so much and was so scared about what was going to happen with our baby boy. Then, when I got used to the idea of camping out in APU for the next three months, I worsened and it really started to hit home that I was going to have a premature baby. I remember waking up a few days after I was admitted  and I could only see a big gray circle out of my right eye. What an aweful day!  I almost had a cesarean section that morning-ten days before Grant's actual birthday. It scares me to think what would have happened to him if he was born even more prematurely.  Its kind of wierd but it felt like I was walking into a dark cave or even falling off a cliff and I  had no control over where I was going or what I was going to find at the end. I couldn't even imagine what a nightmare the next months would be, but also I couldn't even imagine what a wonderful outcome we would have. I hate to ramble so much, but it all has been on my mind so much lately. I feel so lucky to be where we are today; I hate to think that I would ever take having children for granted without this experience, but everyday I squeeze my boys a bit tighter and thank Heavenly Father for the greatest blessings I could ever wish for.

Dear Santa. . .

Christmas with a four year old is so much fun. Cole is completely into the season and excited about Old Saint Nick. Of course this year has come with more questions than last such as: how can Santa always see what I am doing, how does Santa get in our house without a chimney, and of course he keeps asking  if he is on the naughty or nice list. I can see the little wheels in his head turning as he tries to figure everything out. We saw Santa early this year to avoid the holiday rush, and we found the best place as well. I was totally bummed last year when the malls instituted the no personal camera rule, but we discovered this year that Bass Pro Shop has Santa with no limit on pictures. We did not have to wait in line at all and it was an awesome Santa. Cole was excited to tell Santa what he wanted for Christmas, but Grant was less than enthused to sit on Santa's lap. They also had a station for writing letters to Santa and there were plenty of toys to try out; Cole's wish list definitely grew after trying out all of the toys.  His wish list included a zoo video game, paints, a bike, a scooter, and a toy gun (the toy gun was added after playing with the toys in the store). He had so much fun wandering around the store with Caden; I think he could have stayed there all day.

   

Animals, Nature, and Fairytale Land

Cole is such a hilarious little boy and such a joy to have in our home. I feel like I am always blogging about Grant and neglect to mention my other little guy. Of course Cole is still crazy about animals. That kid knows practically every animal imaginable and also what country they are from. He is also crazy about maps. He loves to analyze the world map in his room; of course it also has pictures of which animals live in the different countries. He probably knows more countries than I did in high school. I guess it is all crucial information for an aspiring world traveler/animal rescuer- he wants to take over for Diego when he grows up.  Lately he has told me that he "knows about three things: animals, nature, and fairytale land." I don't know how fairytale land fits in with animals and nature, but I guess he is the expert. The other day he was trying to figure out where fairytale land was on the globe. Kids come up with the silliest things. Yesterday he announced that that "lefties are the smartest" and he "knows everything because he is a leftie ". I don't know where he came up with that, but I guess we don't have to worry about his self-esteem at all. He is four and knows it all.

Tiger Stripes

He's mobile!!

Look out-baby Godzilla is on the loose! Grant is crawling now and is getting into everything. We laugh when we see him coming because he looks like a baby godzilla ready to annhilate everything in his path. I'm definitely not complaining-I am so proud of him.  He started crawling on November 1st (his blessing day) and in the past month he has become a speedy little guy. Now he is also pulling up on everything and he is definitely so proud of himself. His little personality has just blossomed since he has been crawling; he is so curious and loves exploring the house. He also follows us around like a little puppy dog; he always wants to be part of the action. I am relieved that he is crawling correctly, using reciprocal arm/leg movements, and he is having no trouble getting to sitting position and switching to crawling position himself.  I pretty much scrutinize every movement he makes, poor guy. So many things I never paid attention to with Cole because I just assumed he would be fine. I can't watch Grant do anything without analyzing every movement. If Grant sits toward one side one time, I have to make sure he uses the other side next time. If he reaches too much with one hand, I have to make sure that he doesn't have any difficulty with the other. He really is doing so great, but I know I will be overanalyzing him for awhile; I don't want to miss anything.  Both his occupational therapist and physical therapist are so impressed with how great he is doing, we are probably going to decrease his occupational therapy sessions after his birthday. Next step...walking.